On behalf of The Texas Renaissance Festival here in The Village of New Market, I bid you a Good Day! Our Kingdom is in what is known to you as Todd Mission, Texas. You may marvel how two places can co-exist, let it not bother you, for time and magic are peculiar things unto themselves. I am the King, and this is my blog. It is solely my fault. Many have invited me to participate in the 21st century but I have fought them tooth and nail. Well, the Queen, I fought with rapier and dagger and in the end, she did prevail. Judge me not, I challenge thee to look deeply into her eyes and not willing yield. Below is my formal introduction, it is a bit extravagant. Fortunately, I have since gained a greater understanding of the world where my message is being sent. Quite by happenstance, I didst discover my fool. Jstrfrt was being quite naughty. He is at this very moment starting to clean the kingdom's privies. This chance meeting proved very enlightening and since I love a good joke, even at my expense. I entreat you to read the following:
Be it henceforth known that this do be, The King of the Texas Renaissance Festival. I am quite pleased to present myself upon these digital highways and travel to your kingdom as the representative of a great many folks both Noble and Not. These include artists, masters of crafts, merchants, traders, musicians, chefs, bakers, cooks, acrobats, dancers of all sorts, skilled warriors, brewmasters, fools, philosophers, even thespians, dreamers and so many more. We present ourselves for thy consideration on this our 45th Anniversary of the Texas Renaissance Festival. This year we shall present a Royal Sapphire Celebration with all manner of wonderment and delight. Merriment will abound as we strive to present the most, best festival ever!
Therefore, I the King do hereby devote myself to transcend my century and to appeal to thee upon this new horizon of Social Media Communication, of which I have known little to nothing about except for the bits my fool doth babble on about incessantly. However, the Queen sees great value in the tools of this modern age, so in her honor, I am devoting my Tuesdays to the conquering of these new realms! I thank the Lady Kimberly, whom I have commissioned to guide me through this blog. (it is difficult to believe that it is called a blog; it rather reminds me of a piratical belch) Lady Kimberly has single-handedly maintained and preserved the Texas Renaissance Blog for these many years. I have read all her many faithful entries and I do entreat thee to visit Lady Kimberly's blog and enjoy the fruits of her labor. I was particularly taken with her story about the Queen. I now know where she goes when she is absent from the Kingdom. Ahh, my beauteous Queen, whose love doth sustain me. My dearest, I thank thee for thy being. I must not forget to extend my gratitude for the support provided by our Lord Mayor, the Duke of Norfolk and my soon to be departed fool, as well. Their persistence at reading over my shoulder and their never-ending supply of editorial commentary has been ever so helpful and quite so nearly appreciated that I...That I did it! They have all departed and in a quite a huff.
I will relish the opportunity to spend more time in your graces here, there or wherever we are in this cloud digi-verse. I should now share the specifics of our event. Were I a herald, I wouldst ring a bell and proclaim in a thunderously loud voice:
Hear ye, hear ye,
Our glorious Texas Renaissance Festival will commence on October 5th and run for 9 consecutive weekends through December 1st to include the Friday after Thanksgiving. Join us for nine themed weekends of romance, merriment, and frivolity! Discover more about the Festival on Facebook, the Book of Faces. Instagram, as opposed to the slower one, and Twitter, of which I once foolishly believed was the general commotion of birds.
For tickets and other information visit us at our, soon to be new website; www.texrenfest.com. There it's finally done. That was easy except for all those damnable drafts. I suppose I should stop typing to myself. How awkward? Huzzah!
An aside from the fool. Next week, we'll introduce his majesty to backspace. He must've thought it referred to his big butt. His Royal goofiness has typed this posting nearly a dozen times. Every time he made a mistake, he started the whole thing over, as if it were quill to parchment. Imagine his consternation when I show him the cut, copy & paste functions. I told his Majesty I was posting this. But really? I just wanted dish, for instance, as far as him being on the internet, it was all the Queen's idea to keep his massiveness occupied when she is away. In my opinion, she'd have better luck occupying his attention with a cup and ball on a short string, I give him a month until he's bored and moved onto something exciting like boot lacing. Well, I had better post this before his "large-ship" can stop me. Tootles, -Jstrfrt, the fool.
*I left the fools comments in because I am the bigger man and a larger King. Also, he is off cleaning Privies and we have lots of privies in the festival. He will also be lacing up my boots the next few mornings. It is good to be King.
You have nearly reached the end of this my first entry into the "blog-mospere". Obviously, I cannot pretend to fully comprehend everything, but I have managed to conquer the backspace key. ha-Ha! I also, accidentally, happened upon a help key which at first was not nearly as helpful as one might wish it to be. Fortunately, the Lady Kimberly has once again set me upon the right path, and she promises to show me the amazing world of YouTube tutorials...? Somehow, I have managed to prevail, and this blog will go out in short order. I invite you, good folks, to assist me in my quest to conquer this digital dragon. Please share your comments and let me know what thou wouldst like to know? Do consider in your replies, that I am of a different world and do at times find it challenging to fully grasp your century. If you happen to know any folks challenged like myself, please do not hesitate to share this with them. I look forward to letters, or as you say, "replies". I have been warned of trolls, so I intend to blog only during daylight hours.
Thank thee for your time, I will also be exploring the realms of Twitter and Instagram so do look for me. In the future, I will be sharing information next about the 2020 Pirate Cruise. I also cannot wait to tell how, our lovely Lady Giles, La Riena de La Fiesta, received a fantastical gift from our esteemed founder, beloved patron and the first King of the Realm, George Coulam.
I bid thee well,
The King IX (formerly viii)